Sometimes I wish that if I was given but only one wish it would be for my child to succeed without trouble in education. Recently I had a visit with my child’s principal because my child has been on overload with written output and workload for homework. Homework gets assigned daily, and my son has been assigned to do exactly what all the other children are doing? What is the point of my child having the I.E.P. then? If my child has to complete exactly what is given to all the other children he will be set up to fail, and this is exactly what is happening to him. My child went from having a “B” in math, and I must be honest with you, he will be lucky if he sees a “C” letter grade. I think he will go down to a “C-“. This principal assured me that my child’s workload would not be a concern, that she just wanted a “hot body” in his seat!! Who says that? Still my son comes home with all this homework the teacher claims is missing, when I have sent the majority in? I have communicated with this teacher, still nothing. I have sent letters to people in this district, still nothing. What is everyone surrounding me deaf!! I think that because of all my hard work as a parent and still nothing that I feel defeated with this school system. Having no supports within my community also makes it tough. Having no supports when I ask until I am blue in the face makes me want to run and hide. If I succumb to this then what will happen with my special needs child? I don’t want to tread lightly with this subject, however, I want to move in a pace that is comfortable with my child. I don’t want him to be discouraged. Oh I am also wondering where my child’s funding to the school is going…he has no aid still to this day. He requires an aid for so many reasons, first and foremost his flight risk behaviour (still presentable as of last year). What is wrong with this school system! I can never figure it out?! It baffles me to this day at how they say they want to teach when in fact they just want numbers in bodies?!! Politics and silence in the schools system is hurting our special needs kids…come on people, speak out and leave the politics for the politicians!!! I want to crawl in a hole today, who’s gonna help dig me out, better yet who’s gonna dig my child out of this mess besides me, me, me!!
Today was a not so good day for my tweener already 12. He says to me yelling “I wish I didn’t have autism!” I am like bud you have to calm down. After all his frustration of sitting in the front seat of the vehicle with his 3 year old sister behind him whom was pushing her feet into the back of his chair. Next time I am going to have to tell him to sit in the back beside her or she will sit behind mom (I already moved her chair to the middle seat tho already). Sometimes it is frustrating for me as a parent to help resolve his problems. Tiresome day of referee mom… isn’t what I had hoped for at all…but I am a trooper…at least I get to go to a great friend’s house to make cards tonite! Sometimes his frustration leads to him acting out in violence. I must try and breath when this happens. Non-Stimulant medication didn’t work. I know what works best…routine, routine, routine. Hard when life has it’s ups & downs. I have told him numerous times he can not use his autism as a crutch. Still those wheels in his head are spinning constantly and all I want to do is slow them down. On to better days ahead! Lucky we are home no and he can calm down in the home environment. Spring break is here and maybe a day trip or two is planned for this year. Summer will be here fast enough too.
I think that just because my son has complex vocal and motor tics this makes him unique. Who cares if he is steaming like a locomotive steam engine or making air brake noises like a bus, or flapping like a baby bird trying to learn how to fly! The thing that matters is that he states he does these things simply in his own words, “I’m happy mom!” Why change it either is my point! Some people seem annoyed with these behaviours. I read once somewhere that making the noises along with the children like this encourages and helps them. So one day I tried it, and actually thought now I see the world my boy is in and that is fine by me. The only thing I wonder at times is this something that could prohibit him from understanding his surroundings and what is occurring elsewhere. I think that answer may be an astounding yes, so this is where I wonder what to do in order to help him especially on the way to school etc…Some oddities about having a child on the spectrum is that you never know what your going to get, it is just like that saying in the movie Forest Gump “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get”. It is so true in the world of autism!
Today will be the start of Nick going to the Oxford Learning Centre in our local city. He is struggling with math. For the last two years this has shown. Yesterday I had a brief visit at his school and to my surprise the teacher thought that math was his strong suit? I think the teacher is on Mars now? If his report cards show the signs, and his assessment (oxford) shows the signs, then you’d think that the teacher would? He is in grade 5 with levels in reading some at grade 7 levels and some at grade 4 levels. However math he has a definitive grade level of a grade 1 student? This is baffling, and I hope we see a increase in his grades in math after the 3 month mark. He has great teachers, so with this being said, with all of us working together, then I hope that we see a rise in his academic grade level for math! It is very difficult though considering the math effort takes in holding the pencil for the work and his sensory integration disorder plays effect with this matter. I definitely don’t want to set him up to fail come time for middle school, I would like to see him succeed to his fullest capacity and knowledge!
It has been practically a month since our last visit to the pediatricians office. Nicholas had been on straterra (non-stimulant) for 3 months. He then went to a stimulant called concerta. Both meds did not work. His sleep had changed w/ the stimulant and his tics were worsening. So off the meds he was the same way, the only difference was the stimulant making life more difficult for him. So the doctor revisited behaviour modifications with me. He basically told me that I had to nip it in the butt now or when he was a teen he would be far worse. So privledges in the house right away were earned not just given (before I was allotting the 2 hrs per day for computer use being monitored of course) now it is earned from good behaviour and chores ie homework, bed being made, garbage taken out or loading the dishes in the dishwasher etc etc… Tonight Nick went on a rampage b/c he couldn’t watch tv b/c he had read for 30 minutes (part of his homework). I just put my foot down. I wonder what the neighbour thinks now of us w/ him stomping up the stairs yet again, probably waking any neighbour up if they had been sleeping at 8:45pm? Urban living in the finest of moments in a townhome, in which we had no idea it was strata operated until after we moved in. I am sticking to my guns about this behaviour modification, and I won’t give in. Days like this want to make me crawl in a hole and not come out, I need to get out by myself for a girls nite out or afternoon! LOL!!
This morning was a tough morning for my boy Nick to get out of bed. “Oh my nose hurts, he stated”. “That is not a reason not to get up and ready for school, Nick” I said. This has become typical behaviour when he gets down in the dumps about something or other. So I had to go to extreme measures again by pulling his blanket off of him. This did not work. So I pulled his socks off of his feet b/c he likes to sleep in his socks for some strange odd reason! Of course they were dirty and had holes in them. Of course if I wanted action I sure got him out of bed fast. He began to complain of taking his own socks off himself and not me. So therego his actions of locking himself in the bathroom to re-put the dirty socks back on. However, he was supposed to go in the shower, so I see this as pointless. He for some reason wants the independence of doing things on his own, but insists on taking too much time slacking off when he is supposed to be getting ready. I could understand his reasoning (wanting to take the socks off himself) but the point of going into the shower anyways and re-putting them back on I could not understand, b/c that takes longer. I guess the next time, I am just going to have to say something like no tv today if you don’t get up promptly at 7am!!